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  • The Innkeeper

    Welcome, I’m glad you are here!

    Fatherhood is a journey.
    Come, have a seat by our fire.
    It’s a grand undertaking. Obstacles, challenges, and risk are inevitable!
    And, reward.
    Yes, treasure is everywhere.
    How about a bowl of something warm and delicious?

    The JourneyMen program is an invitation for fathers to gather and share support in their journeys. This is a place for dads to enter, rest and nourish themselves. This is a place where good men come to reset, connect and gain insight, provisions and a map for the ongoing adventures of everyday life.

    That guy in the corner over there? Yeah, he’s gone through some stuff. Perhaps he can offer some ideas…

    Our grand adventure begins at home.
    Our quest calls us to build solid, sustainable connections with our partners, our kids and ourselves. We are moved to grow these connections and then share stories and take action to change our world. It’s no small feat.
    This is the foundational adventure that JourneyMen face. It’s epic.

    Pass over that backgammon board and stay for awhile.

    The Innkeeper’s Journal is inspired by the everyday work and play of the JourneyMen. It is my intention, as the facilitator of these gatherings, to share some of the insights and actions that emerge from our connected journeys. I am honored to hold powerful stories from fathers who aim to show up as a partner for their families, a leader at work, and a force in their communities.

    As part of the fatherhood journey, every one of the JourneyMen has access to our map, our framework for foundational adventures. JourneyMen engage in D.E.E.P M.E.N.S. Work. Every session follows our D.E.E.P. framework for exploring and sharing stories, strategies and support; men are then able to use these concepts at home and work to engage others. The four foundations of M.E.N.S. work hold up everything we do and support every aspect of our work together. Would you like to learn more about these and other parts of our men’s adventure map? Come along!

    **Moving forward, I will post a series of blogs exploring each section of these frameworks, including important concepts and strategies that are essential parts of the JourneyMen experience!

    We come to the inn for nourishment and rest. We come to the inn when we need tools, direction or information. We find ourselves at the inn when we need some assistance and a slight respite from our everyday adventures. We enter the inn to share our stories and offer a bit of ourselves. This is where we connect, find partners and bolster ourselves for the next leg on our journey.

    There’s something about the spaces where different people meet.
    There’s something about these places that hold and share all the stories.

    Every important adventure seems to begin and end around a table.

    Welcome! C’mon in and grab a seat.

    Warmly,

    Jason S. Frishman
    The Innkeeper

  • Connected Fatherhood: Embrace Your Journey

    Men’s Growth and Connected Fatherhood

    For many dads, balancing work and family and community and ourselves feels like walking a tightrope. You’re giving everything you’ve got to your job, your kids, and your partner, but no matter how hard you try, something always seems to slip through the cracks. Sometimes, a lot of the time, it’s just not good enough.

    The truth is, modern fatherhood is a team sport, yet too many fathers are playing solo. And it’s wearing us out.

    This is where community – real community – can enter the picture. When you’ve got other men on your team – men who “get it” because they’re living it too – life starts to shift in amazing ways. You’re not just trying to get by; you’re stepping into your Foundational Adventures – embracing Presence, Purpose, and Passion in ways that matter, to you and those you love most. That’s what happens when you’re part of a community of men like The Mug Club at Journey’s Inn.

    The Everyday Adventures of Fatherhood

    Here’s a truth.
    Juggling work and family isn’t simply challenging; it’s exhausting. It’s overwhelming. So many fathers are trying to get it all done. By themselves. Blindly working harder, not smarter. Many men want to become the partners that their partners want and need. They want to be more aware of their roles at home, at work, and in their communities. They want close, meaningful relationships with their kids.

    Men know that, in partnership, everyone can win. Yet, it’s a lot. Too much at once, perhaps. Good dads trying hard seldom feel like it’s enough. For many fathers, “doing it all” means working long hours, (sort of) keeping an eye on that endless to-do list, and trying to be there for everyone all the time. But between deadlines and dinnertime, many dads find themselves feeling distant. Maybe it’s a growing sense of loneliness, or perhaps it’s the realization that their MOST important adventures are happening at home, with family, and within themselves – and they’re missing it.

    As fathers navigate the daily grind, they often feel like they’re on the outside looking in. They work hard to provide, but the connection with the people they care about most can feel miles away. This sense of isolation is frustrating and all too common.

    Fact: Studies show that nearly 63% of men report feeling a lack of close friendships or meaningful connections. For fathers, the pressures of family and work often mean there’s less time and energy to foster these bonds, which can lead to higher levels of stress and burnout.

    The Difference a Community of Men Can Make

    Imagine walking into a beautiful, modern inn nestled in nature, near a serene lake, majestic mountains, and a winding river. This isn’t just any gathering spot; it’s a place where fathers can step away from their everyday adventures. They can come together around a large table, in front of a roaring fire, share stories, nourish connections, and gain new insights.

    In this space, fathers embrace their Foundational Adventures, recognizing that their real journeys unfold in the everyday moments of life. Here, you’re not just going through the motions; you’re connecting with other dads who want more from fatherhood. You’re learning from each other, cheering each other on, and finding practical ways to create deeper meaning in your everyday actions.

    Ongoing private text threads between the men keep the connections alive between gatherings, and monthly themed challenges provide an exciting opportunity for accountability and support. Each member shares their progress and encourages one another as they navigate the busy and often overwhelming lives they lead.

    Strategy: Take ten minutes each day to focus on meaningful presence with your family – low distractions, and intentional attention – in any way that works for you and your family. For example, put your phone away, make eye contact, listen to what’s on your kids’ minds & join in with anything they are doing or check in deeply with your partner. Research shows that these small daily actions help build closeness and trust, reminding you that your most important adventures are happening right at home. *For Bonus Points: Send a short text, with no context, to share something you experienced during the ten minutes of meaningful presence.

    By stepping into a community of men, fathers start to see their lives shift.
    There’s a greater sense of Purpose, a deeper sense of Presence, and a Passion for family life that’s hard to maintain when you’re going it alone. Many dads see other men nodding with understanding, with shared experiences. As we say in the Mug Club, “Your work is our work, your Journey is our Journey.”

    And that sense of connection? It’s not just good for them – it’s good for everyone in their lives. Stronger relationships with the kids, increased intimacy and connection with partners, and a solid sense of presence, purpose and passion at home – that’s Connected Fatherhood.

    Why Now?

    Why join now? Because life doesn’t wait. There’s never a perfect time to step back and review your life’s stories, but when you make time for yourself now, you’re setting yourself up to head into your next chapter with fresh perspectives and solid support behind you. You are preparing to re-enter the Journey of Fatherhood with renewed Presence, Purpose and Passion!

    This month marks a special drive for The Mug Club, welcoming new fathers eager to embark on this journey together. By joining now, you’re stepping into an exciting energy—a time when fathers are reconnecting with what matters most. It’s a chance to go into the busy season of life with a community that’s rooting for you, men who have your back as you take these next steps.

    Your Invitation to Join the Journey

    If you’re a father who’s been feeling time crunched and stretched thin, this is your invitation.
    Has stress, irritation, and reactivity become increasingly present. Stuck in the muck of daily ‘stuff’? This is your invitation to step into something different. The Mug Club at Journey’s Inn is a place where fathers come together, share stories, and find support to start making real changes in their lives.

    Imagine having a community of men by your side as you tackle the challenges of fatherhood, men who understand the struggle and celebrate the wins. Join us, and see what happens when you take a moment to step away from your everyday adventures and connect with others on similar journeys. Let’s nourish our stories and learn how to live our lives with deeper meaning, together.

    warmly,
    Jason
    The Innkeeper and founder of JourneyMen

    For more information, check out:
    www.JourneyMenFoundation.com
    The Mug Club @ Journey’s Inn lives here:
    www.ConnectedFathers.net
    Get in touch and/or sign up for the Innkeeper’s Weekly, our newsletter:
    https://www.journeymenfoundation.com/pages/contact
    Know a dad that would like some time at the Inn?
    Sharing this post or www.JourneyMenFoundation.com supports us all!

  • Forget Finding Happiness Someday. Forge Happiness Everyday. Men’s Most Important Quest.

    Happiness is not a thing.
    We think of happiness as a noun, a thing to achieve.
    One day, we will get it and all will be good. 
    One day, we will hold happiness and everything will make sense; everything will be worth it.
    But what if we’ve got it all wrong?

    Like the adolescent who states they’ll wake up on time for work when they become an “adult.” 
    As if everything changes dramatically the moment they become eighteen.

    Like most people who say that they’ll start something….some day. 
    As if everything radically changes the moment that we finally grasp some form of Happiness.

    What if Happiness is NEVER a noun?
    What if Happiness is ALWAYS a verb?
    What if Happiness is discovered only as part of a larger process? 
    What then?

    As men, we’ve been sold and told a specific story for generations. It’s a story of power, control and domination. Achievement. Productivity. Getting shit done. This is the way. This is the way that men measure their own worth, their happiness. Only after conquering the enemy or speaking the loudest or making six or seven figures or becoming a sex god can we hold elusive Happiness. 

    Yet, how is this working for us?

    Men are lonely. We are isolated. Suicide rates are skyrocketing. Depression, anxiety, and anger run wild through today’s masculine mindset. We are isolated, even when the world is (potentially) connected in ways never before experienced in human history. We are alone, even when we live with a partner and have “buddies” to hang out with and distract ourselves from life’s everyday trials. We don’t often have the awareness, the skills or even the words to share what is really going on for us. 

    Dominant stories and models of masculinity have failed us all. Many men are lost, following a path that no longer serves anyone other than those already in power. 

    If I am not living an epic life, if I am not achieving legendary status, then who am I? 
    How can I possibly be happy? 

    We all want to be heroes.

    Let’s think about that, ok? What is a Hero? We’ve seen them in blockbuster movies and in epic novels. The hero is power full. The hero is dominant and strong and takes no shits from anyone. The hero has Very Important Things to do. The hero knows the distinct difference between good and evil; there is no in between! The hero becomes separate from this world, separate from those he purports to love, separate from the values that he states he holds most dear – all for the sake of his glorious purpose. The hero has a mission, and to hell with most everyone who gets in the way. After the quest, the hero can settle down and live happily ever after. 

    There are so many issues with this story. Most of us aren’t out there battling dragons or rescuing the realm. Many of us are simply moving through our days, making a living, hoping to connect more meaningfully with our partners and friends. We’re trying our best to raise little humans. Many of us are working for the weekend, staying up too late, doing too little, and avoiding those inner voices that strongly suggest that there can be another way.

    While there may be treasure at the end of some epic Adventures, many men are stuck in the idea that big actions are the only avenue to discover happiness, contentment, and meaning. Many men not only wouldn’t know or see the path of daily joy and happiness, we actively denigrate it.
    We see daily activity as drudgery, chores as necessary evils, and maintaining the home and relationships as tasks relegated to others (usually women). It’s as if we’ve been taught and maintain the myth that the domain of men’s work is the big, important stuff. And everything else exists solely as supporting characters in our quests for power, control and domination.

    Indeed, there is another way. 
    There are adventures for us, for every man. 
    There is potential for magic and wonder every day. 
    There is a new quest, a new story emerging for men that invites happiness, meaning and contentment.

    Photo by Gantas Vaiu010diulu0117nas on Pexels.com

    Where to start? What to do? Where’s our map for this elusive quest?!

    In the JourneyMen Foundations program, we share a detailed map for traveling your Fatherhood Journey. If you are interested in learning more about our work, please consider taking a tour of our framework!

    In our quest for everyday happiness, let’s begin by letting  go of previous notions. Too often, Happiness has meant something that is currently unattainable. By definition, Happiness has come to represent something in the future. We have to work for happiness, right? Yet, our daily lives are too inundated, too harried and hectic to yield Happiness, right? WRONG. 

    Discovering happiness is a powerful and ongoing journey. Happiness comes and goes; it slips away when we’re not looking and can pop up during the most challenging of moments. So, then, our true Herculean task is to create moments of intention, action, and reflection that continually invite happiness into our everyday lives. Like the blacksmith toiling at his forge and consistently improving his craft, creating everyday happiness is a discipline, an art. The root of discipline is disciple. Can you become a student of yourself, your life and your own Happiness?

    Here are three steps to get you started on this journey:

    1. Know yourself.

    What do you believe in and what do you truly care about?  What are some of your core values? What are your likes and dislikes? What do you want from yourself, from others? In today’s culture, so many men rarely, if ever, make the time to stop and answer these questions about themselves. We are offered so many ways to avoid the discomfort of self-exploration. It’s uncomfortable, especially when confronting the answers to these questions may mean that one is not actually acting in accordance with our own answers. Knowing ourselves may mean that we might have to confront our behaviors, our past, or our participation in a system that directly impacts our lives and those that we love the most. 

    Uncovering our values is a challenge. Values can be vague, overly general and overwhelming to explicitly state, even to ourselves. To get started, pick one thing that you regularly choose to do, either at home or work. What does your commitment to that action say about you? What does it say about what you care about, value? You can start with 3 or 4 values; more will become evident as you move along in this quest. As you begin to know yourself, you have the opportunity to take different actions, to make different choices. You have the possibility to act everyday in little, consistent ways to express your self-stated values. Living in accordance with what is truly important to you is a solid step towards happiness!

    1. Connect in authentic ways with others.

    Men are increasingly disconnected with colleagues, friends, partners, extended family, and their own children! Men have buddies. They’ve got “people.” Yet, to whom do they turn when shit hits the fan? Sometimes, a guy’s wife or partner is the only person who gets to see (a small portion) of his inner angst and experiences. Other times, the answer is nobody. Many men do not even have the vocabulary to meaningfully share their thoughts and feelings with others. Making friends for men has become a meme, jokes about “bromances” highlight the challenges that men have in developing real, true friendships. Connecting in this way is seen as weak or feminine (illustrating pervasive cultural homophobia and misogyny.) Individualism and bootstrapping are cultural priorities that can impact even the most “woke” men.

    Connecting with others in real, authentic ways is freeing. These connections are what men, if not everyone, need more than ever. Men gathering together to intentionally share real lived stories is radical and powerful and has the potential to create significant shifts in our culture. We can move away from power, control, and domination towards connection and partnerships. 

    We can and need to start small, however. Call up an old friend. Reconnect with someone from childhood. Let someone in on the discoveries you are making about yourself and what is really important to you. Share thoughts, feelings, celebrations, and worries about yourself, your relationships, or your kids. Share your thoughts, feelings, celebrations, and worries WITH your partners and your kids! Building strong connections in your everyday life is yet another solid step towards happiness.

    1. Find a way to serve.

    And now, we return to the things that we care about, that we value. Values can often remain as lofty, distant aspirations. So many things get in the way of living our values. Sure, we’d love to help others, serve others. Resources, time, bandwidth, and “other obligations” serve as obstacles to action. Outside of what needs to get done, how are we living our values, everyday? Actually, we can and must begin to express our values by doing what NEEDS to be done. Our intention is essential. Our intention can direct our experience. It can feed our choices.

    Here is an essential practice for this quest. Think small. Think about everyday actions. Think about how you can express yourself and  the values you are discovering. Our daily life is ripe with opportunities to serve others. House work, home work, chores, and errands are all moments that you can enter with an intention to serve. What value are you demonstrating by cleaning the toilets, washing the dishes or folding the laundry? What priorities are you modeling for yourself, your partner, and your kids? This becomes particularly poignant when you engage in these activities with an outward expression of value, when you complete these tasks with the mindset that this mundane task can (and will) become meaningful. Meaningful actions in service to others and your own values are powerful and a third step towards Happiness.

    These steps are essential preparation for Foundational Adventures. Foundational Adventures present different, lived stories for men. They are everyday journeys we take to express our core values through ordinary, mundane actions. These adventures elevate meaning, create sustainable connections, and prepare us all for engaging in the world with intention and direction. Foundational Adventures lead us towards daily treasures of meaning, contentment, and Happiness.

    Inevitably in all journeys, adventures, and quests there are risks, challenges, and obstacles. Growth is hard. Happiness, contentment, and meaning are most often uncovered as part of the challenge, as part of moving through difficulty. And, fortunately, you don’t have to go it alone. There are a growing number of supportive groups and programs for men who want to create their own paths to Happiness. Reach out, get connected. And enjoy the journey!

    The JourneyMen Foundations program offers a deep dive into forging your own Foundational Adventures and writing your own narrative as a man and father. Our primary goal is to support men in creating powerful connections with themselves, their partners, their kids and their communities. The program is run by psychologist and coach Jason S. Frishman, PsyD and is an outgrowth of his work with boys, men and families over the last 25 years. New cohorts are being offered regularly, please reach out to learn more!

    Let’s connect and share stories!
    Please, won’t you join us on this adventure?

    Warmly,
    Jason Frishman
    The Innkeeper

    Get in touch Directly: Jason@NourishedConnections.com
    Check out the Website: www.JourneyMenFoundation.com
    Learn about the JourneyMen Foundations men’s coaching program for fathers: JourneyMen Foundations

  • Breathing M.E.N.S. WORK

    M.E.N.S. Work is a framework describing four foundations within the JourneyMen perspective.
    Mindful practice, intentional Experiences, Nourishing self and others, and taking Social responsibility and action are essential disciplines that JourneyMen engage with in all of our programs and work together.
    Read on to learn more!

    The young man wanted success. He wanted sex. He wanted drugs. He wanted Rock & Roll.
    He wanted power.
    (He may even have wanted to change the world.)
    He got all of it. 
    And more.

    Yet, He was lonely.  He was lonely while swiping one way and another. Lonely in his fancy car and house. He was alone making love to his wife. He was lonely after dropping his kids off at school. Alone at  Work. Lonely, even with friends, having beers.

    This aging man was sad, and he did not know it. He wasn’t allowed to know it. He didn’t know how to know it. He felt lost.
    Sad, Lonely. Lost. Powerful. Irritable. Frustrated. 
    Angry.

    For too long, this man, and so many other men like him, have been living a Man’s Story. It is a story (forcefully) retold for ages. Perhaps, it once served some useful purpose, perhaps it created something. Over time, however, this story became unbalanced and full of holes. In fact, it was torn and twisted.
    And now? It is now a story with lost characters, lost chapters and lost treasures. 

    Wait, that isn’t quite right. 

    Lost perhaps, but also thrown away, buried.  Forcefully surpressed, oppressed.
    Characters, chapters and treasures have been destroyed or deleted.

    As a result: loneliness, disconnection, inequality,  oppression and unbalance.

    Our families, communities, cultures and our world have been (and continue to be) damaged by this unbalanced, yet powerful story. This powerful and seductive story of dominating influence and power feeds upon itself and draws in young men (and others) with its shiny objects and epic promises.

    Ah, but what about you?

    You are a young man. You are a partner, a father and a member of this global community.
    You want peace in the valley, ease at home, and to ‘get somewhere’ in your world.
    You want to raise your kids to be good humans, to have an intimate relationship with your partner.
    You might even want to be a part of changing our world.

    And, you can. 
    You can    .

    Welcome to Journey’s Inn, the virtual gathering place of the JourneyMen.

    Our Inn, our entire way of being together and connecting to what’s most important, stands upon four foundational concepts. Four courses to the meal you’ll get at the Inn. Four ways to begin creating new stories for our boys and men. Four corners that hold our foundation strong as we walk the journey together.

    Would you like to see what’s on the menu? Want to learn what’s holding us up?

    The M.E.N.S. Work Framework

    First, take a breath, a deep one.
    Taking in cool air, you’ll notice your self filling up, slowly.
    Releasing warm air, you add your self to the environment, your family, fun and/or work spaces.
    Breathing is a rhythmic action that reminds us of our deep conenction to everything around us, inside and out.

    Now.
    Breathe again.
    As you breathe in, what are you aware of in your own thinking and feelings?
    As you breathe out, take notice of your surroundings. What might be needed in the space, place or people around you?

    This powerful exercise is where we’ll start.
    Breathing in, I am aware of myself. Breathing out, I am aware of that which is outside of me.
    Breathing, I am reminded of the connection.

    Within each rhythmic breath, we explore a foundation of the JourneyMen Framework:

    Mindful – What is going on in us, in others? What are the stories that we tell ourselves, that other tell around us?
    More than learning and practicing mindful meditation, JourneyMen increase their curiosity, compassion and consistency in their awareness of self and others. This allows us to slow down, move from reactive to responsive and choose connections and partnership over control, power and dominance based interactions.

    Experience – What might we need to DO or encourage others to do? How can we encourage partnership with our actions?
    JourneyMen take ACTION and encourage it in others. This isn’t about ‘getting it done’ or ‘fixing things.’ JourneyMen work to understand the experiences and actions that move their journeys forward, that lead them towards their treasure! Powerfully, JourneyMen also look to partner with those around them to create experiences of connection.

    Nourishment – How might we genuinely and sustainably feed ourselves and those around us?
    What fills you up? What truly nourishes you in your world after (or during) the mundane activities of daily life? What do your loved ones, your partners, friends and colleagues need to genuinely ‘fill their tanks?’ JourneyMen practice discernment. JourneyMen seek to find the experiences, engagements and disciplines that offer real, true relaxation. JourneyMen seek to fill their own cups and those of others around them.

    Social Responsiblity and Action – What can we take radical responsibility for in our own lives and the systems in which we are participants? What can we DO about it? How can we partner and model for others in this pursuit?
    From individual interactions to systemic socio-cultural issues, JourneyMen actively engage in the responsibility to improve our world. This is a big statement and has many levels of meaning; JourneyMen engage in conversation to explore responsibility and actions that they can take at home and beyond that can shift our communities towards a more connected, partnered and just world.

    M.E.N.S. Work invites all men to begin crafting new, personal stories of masculinity, fatherhood and partnership. Conversations at Journey’s Inn are informed by these four foundations and often provide direction for all of us!

    I’d love to connect and share stories!
    Please, won’t you join us on this adventure?

    Warmly,
    Jason Frishman
    The Innkeeper

    Get in touch Directly: Jason@NourishedConnections.com
    Check out the Website: www.JourneyMenFoundation.com
    Learn about the JourneyMen Foundations men’s coaching program for fathers: JourneyMen Foundations


  • A Man on the Can

    Once, and once again, the Man sat in his dank place. His feet were tingling, falling asleep, that familiar, uncomfortable feeling crawling slowly up his legs. He should get up, get going, get moving, shouldn’t he? He’s done; he’s finished doing his business, right?

    “NO,” some familiar voice emerged. It urged him to continue scrolling. The sound of little ones arguing and the harried haste of evening events seemed to emphatically agree with this surprising voice. The Man quickly looked down, wiggling his toes. “You’ve done enough already. You’re stressed from work, You need to relax.” “You don’t know what to do out there anyway.” “You just need a moment.”

    At that moment, the door was crashed upon by a little knock and the Man responded, coarsely and impatiently, “I’ll be out when I’m out! Just do what you need to do.” The Man looked down, simultaneously self-satisfied and ashamed. And confused.

    “Wait!? Who are you?” This man, named Terach, finally asked aloud. He looked and noticed this little imp on the floor, at his feet. Taking the emergence of a fictional character in stride, Terach further inquired, “What are you doing here and what did you mean by all of that?”

    “I’m Shadow, one of your Imps.” the little creature replied, simply.

    “One of them!?”

    “Yup, the rest may show up later, but for now, you’ve got me.” Shadow said confidently. “Keep scrolling, the kids will work it out and they’ll be better for it.”

    “Well, no. That isn’t what I really want.”

    Is it? Is it what I really want?
    WHAT DO I REALLY WANT?
    WHAT DO I TRULY CARE ABOUT?

    And thus began Terach’s Journey.

    There’s often something, some challenge or obstacle that wakes a father up to what could be different.

    It isn’t necessarily anything huge or groundbreaking. Heartbreaking, yes. Often it hurts. Yet, it is most often some small experience that points in an important direction. Realizing that we CAN show up stronger, with more presence, intention and connection is an essential first step.

    It’s scary though. Overwhelming.

    The good news? There is a map for this journey. There is a place where fathers can step inside and rest for a minute. Enter the JourneyMen. A developing community of connected fathers providing training, accountability and direction for all men on the journey of fatherhood.

    To learn more, and follow along with Terach’s journey, get in touch today!
    We can schedule some time to talk about the JourneyMen story and see if it is the right path for you!

    I’m looking forward to connecting!
    Warmly,
    Jason
    The Innkeeper

    Jason@NourishedConnections.com
    http://www.JourneyMenFoundation.com

About Me

The sky is not completely dark at night. Were the sky absolutely dark, one would not be able to see the silhouette of an object against the sky.

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