Inside a gathering where fathers name the real stories that we can only carry together.
Guest Post, from one of the JourneyMen!
This morning, I woke to find an essay gracing my inbox.
This morning I read how one of the JourneyMen, one of our Mug Club members, experiences our weekly open gatherings.
This morning I got choked up while drinking my coffee and reading my friend Tom’s sentiment.
Every Tuesday, JourneyMen opens our virtual gathering place – Journey’s Inn – to any father that wants to connect, share in our stories and tell a dad joke or two.
C’mon out and feel the changes that occur when men get real together.
(Reach out to Jason@NourishedConnections.com for an invite!)
Today’s JourneyMen open meeting landed differently. It was the first time we opened the space not only to Journeymen Foundation members but also to the MenLiving community. What unfolded was a mix of a dad with a two-year-old virtually “sitting” next to two dads of teenagers on Zoom. Maybe that was why it hit so deeply—hearing different generations of fathering collide in one conversation: what scares the younger guys, what wears down the older ones, and what all of us are trying to hold together in our own homes.
One father—Jason Frishman, the founder of Journeymen Foundation, Zooming in from his home in Vermont—talked about rearranging his workday so he could pick up his 17-year-old “new driver” in a heavy snowstorm. All of us reacted to that immediately. It’s that deep, animal instinct: the need to make sure your kid is okay in a world that isn’t always gentle.
It’s that deep, animal instinct: the need to make sure your kid is okay in a world that isn’t always gentle.
And then I found myself talking about my own kids, because this is where all of this work lands for me. I mentioned my daughter too—not because this story was centered on her today, but because I often tell the story of learning how to shop with my 16-year-old daughter, fumbling through the parts of teenage girlhood I will never fully understand. She teaches me things I can’t claim to know. And I say this to make one thing clear: nothing I share about my son is ever because I love him more. I love them both in ways that are equal and different and fierce.
But today’s story was about my son.
A couple of weeks ago, he and I were leaving the gym when a man approached us—someone familiar, though not a close friend. He smiled and said to my son, “Your father is a great man.” I’ve heard versions of that compliment for years—about my work with currently and formerly incarcerated men, about showing up for people in ways others say they “could never do.” Usually I deflect. But before I could even open my mouth, my son stepped forward.
He turned to me and asked for permission to respond. I told him he was more than capable. And then he said exactly what he knew to be true. He told the man that he’s been hearing people say things like that about his father for 17 years, and that when people say they “couldn’t do” the work I do, it’s often just a way of letting themselves off the hook. Then he said, “My dad isn’t a great man because of any of that. He’s just doing what his mother taught him when he was little—be kind to strangers, offer food to people who are hungry, and comfort people who are in pain.”
Hearing him say that—out loud, unprompted, with that mix of confidence and tenderness—cut right through everything I’ve been carrying these past years. Family issues. Exhaustion. Conflict. Being stretched between work and kids. The days I doubt myself more than anyone knows. And yet, he sees me. Not the polished version. Not the version his mother argues with. Not the version others project their admiration onto. He sees the core of who I am—the piece I’ve been trying like hell to hand down to him and to his sister, even while the ground keeps shifting under our feet.
He sees the core of who I am—the piece I’ve been trying like hell to hand down to him and to his sister, even while the ground keeps shifting under our feet.
At today ‘s gathering, we also talked about names—how parents choose names hoping to give their children something solid to stand on, knowing life will throw its punches anyway. And we talked about race, and how grief moves through communities like weather. One father shared the pain of seeing four young men who share his heritage murdered in his lifetime. He spoke of fearing the day when his beautiful two-year-old son stops being seen as “cute” and starts being seen as a threat. Those of us who don’t live with that reality need to hear it, sit with it, and not look away.
And we talked about race, and how grief moves through communities like weather. Those of us who don’t live with that reality need to hear it, sit with it, and not look away.
All of this surfaced because Journeymen Foundation and MenLiving created a space for men to gather and tell the truth. My hope is that next week brings more voices, more stories, more fathers looking for connection or clarity or just a place to breathe before going home to the people who need them.
Because this work—showing up as a father after a long day of giving yourself away—is hard. It is holy. And very few of us actually talk about it until we sit with other fathers who are simply trying to do their best.
And that’s why we keep coming back.
- Tom Decker, 2025
JourneyMen offers all fathers a place & the space to gather and share those real stories that create real impact in our lives. Through our membership program, JourneyMen’s Mug Club, dads that give a shit connect, learn stategies, hold ourselves accountable, and support our individual and collective fatherhood journeys. The Journey’s Inn is our virtual home, and I have the honor of being your Innkeeper – offering nourishment, support and guidance.
MenLiving is a non-profit committed to improving men’s lives through connection. We create opportunities for men to gather together to give and get support and build friendship. Through an always growing program of virtual and in-person opportunities, we forge bonds that are key to fulfillment, health and longevity.
Imagine having a community of men by your side as you tackle the challenges of fatherhood, men who understand the struggle and celebrate the wins. Join us, and see what happens when you take a moment to step away from your everyday adventures and connect with others on similar journeys. Let’s nourish our stories and learn how to live our lives with deeper meaning, together.
warmly,
Dr. Jason S. Frishman
Founder of JourneyMen and Innkeeper for Journey’s Inn
Jason@NourishedConnections.com
For more information, check out:
www.JourneyMenFoundation.com
https://menliving.org/
The Mug Club @ Journey’s Inn lives here:
www.ConnectedFathers.net
Get in touch and/or sign up for the Innkeeper’s Weekly, our newsletter:
https://www.journeymenfoundation.com/pages/contact
Know a dad that would like some time at the Inn?
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Tales from the JourneyMen 